Why Not Join the Unitarians?
by Robin Alpern
That is one of the
questions most frequently asked when I tell people about beinga
The answer that comes to
mind first has nothing to do with being of a nontheist bent. I grew up in the
Religious Society of Friends, literally and figuratively. My parents joined the
Society when I was about two. Although there was no Monthly Meeting in
Watertown , New York , where I spent my childhood, my parents organized
meetings for worship with other folks. We attended Quarterly Meeting, never
missed a session of Yearly Meeting, and went to Quaker conferences regularly.
My parents lived and spoke as Friends. From the time of my earliest memories, I
identified myself as a Quaker. As a teen, I began testing Quaker principles.
For instance, one year I used plain speech to see what it was like. I gave up
eating meat, to witness to the sanctity of animal life. Somewhere in my
twenties I began attending meetings for business and accepting committee responsibilities.
Through all these years, I have felt great love and respect for Quakers
themselves and for the Society's practices, testimonies, and purpose. I'm
satisfied among Friends, and I'm not looking for another religious community.
However. Does it make
sense to continue in the Society of Friends when my thinking seems to differ
from, perhaps even oppose, the thinking of the majority of Friends, past and
present? I've been accused of trying to impose a new religion on folks who
already have a perfectly good one. I've been suspected of being a parasite,
stealing the religious vitality and activity of a God-centered people to feed
my own godless (possibly empty) life. My mother hinted I could be a visionary,
avoiding responsibility for founding a new religious order by hiding behind the
familiar skirts of the Religious Society of Friends. Or am I simply misguided,
a round peg in a square hole who would be happier if I would only join a
So far, I think none of
the above. I am a Quaker, living a Quaker life. Interestingly enough, it is the
very commitment to being the best Quaker I can be that leads me at this time to
reject belief in God.
Quakers taught me to use
plain speech, and to tell the truth, always. In my view, it is neither plain
nor necessarily truthful to say such things as "I felt God's
presence" or "It's in God's hands." What does that mean? Behind
that hackneyed, confusing word/concept "God" lies a specific
experience: a feeling, a thought, a vision. Tell me plainly what you
experience! And "just the facts, ma'am." I don't see how you can say
truthfully "I know God exists," since in order to know God
experimentally you would have to be God. And if you are going to
assert--as some would--that in a sense you are God, we're back to the
problem of plain speech, because I don't know what you mean.
Quakers taught me to have
the courage and creativity to think for myself. To question everything,
especially authority. Quakerism itself impels me to question the Religious Society
of Friends, God, and even George Fox. Fox believed in God, but does that mean
it's the truth?
Friends convinced me to
shun empty forms, to dedicate myself to living as close as possible to the
quick of life. That directs me to strip away the ritual of talking about,
imaging, and believing in God. I aim for the spirit of life.
Among Friends I learned to
accept, even expect, revelation. Years ago, I used to banish my doubts about
God with the thought that so many believers, over so many millennia, could not
be wrong. Now I see that, in fact, the beliefs could be mistaken. There
could be new light. Faithfulness demands I do not allow millennia of beliefs to
stand in the way of seeking truth.
Quakers taught me not to
seek truth alone. The corporate search of the past four and one-half years has
supported my leading to explore nontheism. Many Friends are broken, because
traditional beliefs don't speak to their hearts, and they feel alienated from
the Society. God (at least as we currently constitute God) may not be the
answer. The Friends for whom God is the answer are sometimes rigid, even
defensive, about their beliefs. It appears to me that unstated fear and need
may be constricting their religious experience and expression. Again, corporate
seeking suggests that permitting a nontheist attitude might free believers to
examine and share their fears, and to deepen their faith as a result. Finally,
I think we can claim to be engaged in corporate search only if we keep the
doors open, including those we dislike. One of the finest characteristics of
Friends is that we are on a religious quest, not a religious path.
To some extent, I am more
deeply Quaker now than I ever was before. I love the quest. I love the
discoveries, the risks, the mysteries. I've learned from Friends that the only
mistake is to avoid life, to draw back from our leadings. I trust absolutely
that the exploration of life without belief in God will bear fruit. Either the
fruits will benefit the Society, or they will prove false. In that case,
Friends will help me see and correct my error.
Someone might ask,
"Why not carry on your search in some other group, where people share your
That would be to succumb
to the myth. The myth is that what we say about our religious experience
matters more than our experience. To some extent, language informs our
experience. But the essence of humanity and of life lie beyond the reach of
words. The difference between the person who says "I'm building the city
of God " and the one who says "I'm building a world that works for
everyone" is no more significant than the difference between brown skin
Edward Hoare says in his
article "The Heart of It"* that "agnostics and
humanists have weakened the religious basis of the yearly meeting." How?
Such folks (to say nothing of nontheists!) have, he says, "no
understanding of becoming gathered." The ignorance of human nature
displayed in this statement is staggering. Yet it is a common view, and
commonly walls up human beings alive.
It is native to humans to
seek company, to seek aliveness, to seek to be gathered. True enough, we are
capable of straying far from that impulse. Still, our yearning for belonging is
an essential element of humanity. Whether you call it seeking God or searching
for "friendliness and tolerance" (as Hoare's agnostics and humanists
apparently said they were) is ultimately of no consequence. To deny the
religious nature and possibility of another person, on the basis of the
language that person uses, is to deny that person's humanity. Grasping my
humanity firmly in hand, I say I belong just as much in a Quaker community as I
do among Unitarians. We are the same people, going in the same direction.
Of course, by the same
token, I could go join the Unitarians, or the Ethical Society, or the
Buddhists. But the Religious Society of Friends has given me immeasurable
wealth of purpose, practices, and principles. What kind of sense of
satisfaction would it make, now that I've finally matured enough to develop an
original religious life, to tuck all those goods under my arm and turn my back
on the Quakers? That might in fact qualify me as a parasite. Instead, you don't
have to look hard to see that I'm sharing gifts with the Religious Society of
Friends. It is transparent that my purpose is to participate in realizing the
vision of Friends. The myth is that people who believe in God have something,
while those who doubt are have-nots. Quakers, of all people, ought to be able
to spot and keep out of such a vicious trap.
I might suggest that
parasites are people who believe in God because everyone else does and because
it feels good and because then they don't have to be responsible for their own
lives. People who have doubts that they don't contribute to the Society, while
they feed off the good feelings and good name of the Society, are also being
I am not condemning,
however. All of us probably are parasitic at times. Part of the genius of Fox
was the recognition that the spirit is indwelling, so we don't need to live off
This brings me to one more
reason for committing myself to the Religious Society of Friends: its genius.
In my view, Quakers are on a track that works. We have resources for laying new
track toward creating the Peaceable Realm. I'm interested in making the biggest
difference I can with my life, so I'm dedicating my life to people I think will
make good use of it.
Now I have a question.
Should we allow people who believe in God to join the Religious Society of
Of course, traditionally
we have. But as I've said above, what is tradition compared to truth? The
Religious Society of Friends is a body of seekers. Belief is the end of
seeking, the decision that "Now I know the truth." It's not that our
seeking should never lead to finding. But there is a vital difference between,
on the one hand, noticing and celebrating a discovery, which one might then
observe to see how it continues or changes throughout life; and, on the other
hand, casting our discoveries in concrete and worshiping them. The latter
attitude, which I would call belief, stops life in its tracks. The former,
which could lead to faith, can dance with life.
Many Friends hold a set of
beliefs about God. They are encouraged to do so by most religious traditions,
in the erroneous conviction that religion has to do with beliefs. That opens a
whole new topic, to pursue some other time. Suffice it to say that believing
blocks at least as much as it opens. And it would be trite, if it weren't
tragic, to point out that examples such as the mother who murdered Elisa to
exorcise the devil, and the man who killed Rabin because God told him to, and
so on and so on and so on, all demonstrate that believing in God is no guarantee
However, a revelation that
came to me at the 1996 Friends General Conference Gathering was that nontheism
does not immunize me against holding beliefs, nor against misconstructing the
universe. I recognize my full partnership with, and love for, those who choose
to believe. Several of my best Friends are unequivocally, outspokenly
God-centered. They sometimes seem to me too insistent on certain concepts and
images. But, like the Native American listening to John Woolman, I love to feel
the spirit behind their words. That spirit belongs to no particular religion;
it is simply ours.
We are all, thankfully, in